10 signs he's DEFINITELY friendzoned you

After a lengthy conversation with a good friend, she talked about a man whom she thought was her mr.Right only to find that he was her mr. right-now, which revealed a lot of things women feel and deal with on a daily but never talk about because of the fear of being judged. After our hearty conversation, I couldn't wait to put all my thoughts on paper and publish.

A lot of times as females we find ourselves in situations or relationships even we cannot explain. That sort of relationship where the guy acts like your boyfriend ie. takes you out for movies, random dinners, invites you to his friends parties etc. but the words 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' have never made it into his vocab. Soon after that all those butterflies in your stomach suddenly come to a screeching halt the second he says, 'Gawddam!! I saw some fine ass chick at the club last Friday and she can get it anyday'. Like the oh-so-polite lady you are, your response is something like, 'oh really...*nods head, it must be one of those pole-dancer chicks I've seen there, they only hire the hottest girls', but inside you're thinking 'YOU FUCKEN BASTARD, DONE WASTE MY FUCKEN TIME, DO I NOT LOOK GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL, I COULD STAB YOU WITH A DAGGER RIGHT NOW!!!'. Of course on the exterior you're trying to look as cool as a polar bear's toenail, not forgetting to add the punch line 'I could never be a pole-dancer'.

To save all the ladies out there some precious time, I've compiled a list of the most obvious signs that he's friend zoned you. And all that you can do from here onwards is move on swiftly to a man who will love, value and appreciate you for all that you are worth. So here goes:

(i) He goes for weeks, sometimes months without calling, texting, emailing....he basically goes AWOL without a valid explanation.

(ii) He calls only when he needs something from you, ie sex, money, a ride to the club lol *broke ass scrub

(iii) He constantly refers to you as 'dude', 'buddy', 'mate', 'friend', and only advances to 'babe' after that steamy hottt s..

(iv) You have a fear of asking what's going on between the two of you because you are scared you might lose him.

(v) He refers to your relations as 'going with the flow' except there is no water or stream of commitment coming your way.

(vi) If there happens to be a girlfriend in the picture, it's either they are going through 'serious' problems or she's always out of the country (this is of course his side of the story) I personally urge you to go all Debra Patta on this issue and find out what the main girl has to say about her side of the story and if you feel like you can't then 'babe', you've just landed your ass on that side plate.

(vii) You two will occasionally engage in matters of the centre ie. fuck; rock; get it; get that D...(you get the picture)

(viii) If you know that you want more than what you are getting from him

(ix) For all the times you question the relationship he constantly reassures you that he cares about you or he's got your back, the 'L' word in this case is as far off a dream as sex with Trey-Songs.

(x) And finally, he hardly ever returns your calls, texts, etc. and just when you're about to buy flowers to take to his place because certainly the only valid reason why he's not getting back to you is because he got into a major car accident which resulted in him losing his phone and consequently your numbers...- you bump into his car or better yet him at the club. Eisaan

If one or more of those factors apply to you then lady you need to walk out. Like Anastasia's mom (Carly) said from Fifty Shades of Grey', *thinks hard* well it was something to the effect of 'if a man loves or wants you, they wont hide it'. Men will often deliver lines and women will almost always want to read between them. It's not worth it. It never is.
If you haven't yet seen or read Steve Harvey's 'Act like a woman, Think like a man',I'd suggest you do. I guarantee that all I've said will be as clear as glass. ❤

Pursuit of happiness

Back to that happy-go-lucky Letso we all know... :D So I'm still on that Kid Cudi tip, trying to pursue happiness.

So is life all about trying to figure what makes you happy and what grates your titties and working hard at avoiding the former...

Or is it about going to school getting that paper then finally going out there to get the other paper that can afford you a good wife and good things...

Or is it about going with the flow and hopefully land up at the right place and the right time and getting discovered by the same nikka that found Alek  Wek and turned her into the most sought after model...Yes? No?

We see so many people, especially in Joburg, lead lives that are almost unreal (like that guy/girl you went to high school with and 4yrs later you see him/her (usually her) at your local mall and they start throwing you with some hectic British accent that's miraculously been put together right here e'Mzansi) shocked out of your mind, u ask yourself 'kanjani?nini?'. Lol. This is just one of the many things that come up in my mind whenever I think of pretentious people. 

How are you possibly happy living a life that isn't the true reflection of who you are. I definitely have not figured out who I am, at age 22 I figure I'm still young and true happiness and contentment comes with a certain level of maturity. 

During my high school years (2003-2007), I always thought that the day, in fact 'day' is too long. I thought that the second I have a degree and my 1st car, I will be thee happiest person on this planet because that would mean I have a job and I can almost immediately find myself the perfect husband and make myself  the perfect baby and live in a house on Wisteria Lane with a rice white picket fence *hahahahahahahaha*. 

That for me was happiness- or so I thought. Until I stepped out of the school system and that all consuming feeling of freedom filled my mind body and spirit and my small town mentality flew right outta the window. Part of this freedom was that of being able to think out of the box which made me realize and opened my eyes to the different forms of happiness that exist. Now I realize I'm nowhere close to it, for as long as I catch myself frowning, I realize I'm not entirely happy. In fact I do have a degree, I do have a car but I'm still in school and even with the car, I have to sacrifice my entire allowance to ensure that it's well taken care of :(

Since living life as a young adult, I 've come to realize that happiness is not a clear  cut concept, it has so many grey areas and preparing to institute a lawsuit against all children books that end off with 'they left, got married and live happily ever after' it's all a misrepresentation of reality.

Who cares, just do you

So it's been a rather interesting three days in the not-so-fabulous life of Letso. A lot of people responding to me about my previous post titled 'Emotional men'...am I the only one who thought that post was downright hilarious, or maybe I'm just a heartless beast though I beg to differ *sad face.

A lot people found it funny, some people chose to remain on the fence, one beautiful lady went as far as to say it was thought provoking (now that made me raise a brow), of course there were  those who straight up told me I'm bitter and immature and  a classic statement was the guy who said something to the effect of 'omg I woulda never thought she could write anything like this, she's got issues', now this guy can sit in line with those folk who're still waiting for me to give a shit *just saying.

Before I go any further I would like to bring the following facts to the fore: 

Chapter 2 of the South Afican Bill of rights, S16(1) states that:

Everyone has the right to freedom of expression, which includes ­

freedom to receive or impart information or ideas;

freedom of artistic creativity; and

academic freedom and freedom of scientific research.

And S15(1) states that all South African citizens have the right to freedom of conscience, religion, thought, belief and opinion.

So next time I publish a post and whilst reading you find yourself shocked, in awe and thinking 'Letso musta fell and bumped her head before tapping on the 'publish' button', chances are I have, but I actually prefer it that way because the moment I think too hard about what I want to say- that's when I lose the plot. 

Emotional men

Alright what's REALLY bothering women is how childish and immature men can be. Over the past few weeks I've had the displeasure of being exposed to three men who're currently going through fairly recent break-up's. All three of these men are from different walks of life, as a matter of fact they all do not know each other and they all have totally different reasons that have led to their break-up's. 

The 1st is a lawyer who's star sign I don't know but let's pretend he's a Taurus (I hear that lot has beautiful people), he's in his late 20's and reason for the break-up was irreconcilable differences, the 2nd an aspiring Chartered Accountant (CA), a Capricorn and reason is that the girlfriend cheated on him and the 3rd an entertainer, a Leo and reason is he cheated on his girlfriend. One would think that because these men have nothing in common, they'd have different reactions to the unfortunate circumstances they find themselves in...WRONG!!

Following his break-up with a girl he'd been dating for 7-8years, the lawyer not only went on to delete the girl off his BBM but he made sure all her pictures were removed from his fb albums and unfollowed her on twitter *facepalm. As I'm trying to digest all this information, my ill-mannered, thinking aloud scatter brain self blurts out "why the hell would you do that???" and his response was a general "she's not my girl anymore, it's over and I see no reason to talk to her ever again". Stupid.

    

                                     

The aspiring CA however was in a relationship with the stunner for about 2 and a half years and after the break up, he too went on to delete her from Skype, unfollowed her on twitter and of course chucked her off his fb and without fail had a her pictures removed off his fb *deja vu. I could have asked him why but after seeing the Skype contact with his name on it go from the green 'online' sign to a I'm no longer your friend 'question mark' sign- lets just say I got the message loud and clear and I was not going to be that lion-hearted guy that adds salt onto a wound. NO.

                      

Onto the last one, Mr.Entertainer. Not only were they together for about 4 and a half years but they'd moved in together living as man and wife HAPPILY- or so we thought. And this o-so-loud man couldn't wait to broadcast his single status on as many social networks as he could and as if that's not enough he makes it known live on radio. Why? I ask myself...

                          

Men are such odd creatures. I can honestly say that I'm still confused as fuck over their inability to read between the lines. I'm not saying that after a break-up both parties should still go for dinners of have sexual relations or even talk but men should just cut down on the rudeness. Yes, conversations are awkward and strained but you can't throw a girl with a ton of bricks all at once- men should calm down already. What baffles me is how 'they' always make women look psychotic and demented. I bet if any male were to read this, they'd think I'm being crazy and unreasonable. I'm no male basher but the universe constantly fails to give them common sense.

                                      Why so confusing boyzz!!??...

I personally I don't think it's necessary to delete ex's off social networks or phone book (you know we know that u still know the number off by heart). People accept friend requests from strangers in seconds so I find it difficult to understand how a girl the guy supposedly 'loved' gets relegated to less than a stranger in a second or less *shrugs.

As if that's not hectic enough, the aspiring CA went as far as returning all gifts and items he'd received from the girl whilst they were dating. Speechless. 

If there's a man out there who would like to explain to me why men react this way, please reach out to me ASAP.

With that said- I love boys *disclaimer. 

Singleville in the jungle

So I'm back on this blogging steez, being away for so long has taught me so much about life experiences and I can proudly say that in the time that's lapsed between now and the last time and I published a post, life has knocked me down and I still managed to pick myself up or rather I'm in the process of it.
Over the past 6 months, I've loved, I've lost, I've travelled, I've learnt and most importantly I've grown and I just want to share my experiences in this rumble of jungle institution I call 'life'.
In my quest to figure out what life is, I grew accustomed to using astrology to make sense of certain events, what it means to be a Gemini as well as star sign compatibility, of course this could just be me trying to justify why I'm single. With that said, I found out that Gemini's are extroverts, outgoing and get bored easily, especially when they not are given the space to be themselves, I could absolutely relate with that and it seems as though I have not found anyone compatible with my star sign ie.
Aries, Leo, Aquarius and Gemini. Astrology is not the only basis for my views on me and my associations with singleville, but I must say it played a huge role in my justifications.
I've come to the realization that love is not as complicated as people make it out to be, gawddam even I once upon a time thought that it was, but it just takes patience and consideration for the next person which is something I plan to work on the next time I find myself a 'Mr Right-now'. Do I regret conducting myself in a manner that led to me being single? ABSOLUTELY. Am I going to terrorize myself with feelings of guilt and remorse? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I may have a made a mistake here and there but who doesn't I'm human after all, we learn from our mistakes everyday and they make us who we are right? Right!?

Valen-what?

Valentines *feeling nauseous*, day of love huh, I beg to differ, this is definitely not a deep seeded root of anger that stems from 12year old Letso not receiving a flower from her crush or not receiving that voice message over the intercom during the last period of every valentines throughout her entire primary school career, NO!

It’s really because it is a money making scheme, based on an unnatural feeling that no one has control over.  It forces people to buy ridiculous gifts just to make the next person smile whilst a 3^rd person person is drenched in planet lonely. I for one do not subscribe to such notions.

I am not anti-love, definitely not. I just have my own interpretation of love, which is a tad bit different from the typical 'roses are red, violets are blue' kinda love. I believe in privacy of a union without any sort of domination from either parties, a union with mutual respect, where the man is not obligated to shower the lady with gifts but in fact does so from the heart, a union kinda similar to that of 'free-love activists' Lillian Herman and Edwin Walker.

A total coincidence is me coming across Judge Valentine, the judge presiding over the Herman-Walker case. According to Judge Valentine, the "essentials" of marriage included: life-long commitment, a wife's obedience to the husband, the husband's absolute control over all property, the wife taking the husband's last name, the right of the husband to force sexual intercourse on an unwilling wife (that would be rape, by the way), and the right of the husband to control and have custody of any children.

*this man must have fell and bumped his medulla oblongata against his frontal lobe*

With that said it’s quite clear how different this 'love' varies from person to person, we are not all strokes of the same brush and I’m pretty glad that’s the case because evolution would have been nowhere near possible.

It might take a few centuries for the valentines craze to wear off but I'm hopeful, if a living breathing human could rise from the dead after 3 days and not die twice from hunger or dehydration then I'm quite certain anything is possible, even the death of valentines. J

Without Whitney

It's Monday the 13 but it sure feels like Freaky Friday the 13th because me and the rest of the world we are still in mourning mode, still in disbelief over the death of legendary musician Whitney Houston, talk about an untimely death...just 3 days before valentines nogal. Love is in the air alright, love for Whitney's albums as I predict her record sales shoot up by 100%...seems as though people are worth a lot more money dead than alive.

BEFORE

According to the Dailymail, she was found in the bathtub, its said that she may have fallen asleep or lapsed into unconsciousness. Water was also found in her lungs so its clear she jumped into the tub whilst alive. ALL OF THIS and Bobby Brown is still alive...whats also incredible is the Diane Sawyer interview with Whitney Houston 2002, where Whitney's response to one of the questions was that by 2012 she wishes to have retired and raising her daughter Bobby Christine Brown. Well, its 2012 and she crumbled.

AFTER

So as tribute to Whitney, I went to listen to no less than 3 of her albums, my favourite still being the 'I'm youre baby tonight' album. I must have been 10 when i found this album at home right at the back of cupboard and like any other 11 year old, the ONLY reason I happen to know ALL the lyrice to ALL the songs is because the cd insert had all the lyrics to all the songs *karaoke at its best*, how things have changed for the worst. For about a year that album was my croissants and cheese :) and listening to it throughout the entire weekend, I just got nostalgic and all those 11year old self fuzzy feelings came back.

 
Moral of the story: If you know numbers make you feel nauseous, then saty the fuck away from maths; If theft is something you cant seem to shake off, then stay the fuck away from working in a bank; if you cant stand the sight of people, well i suggest you stay away from being a sales rep...and for Christ sakes, if your body has a low drug resistance then STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THEM!!!! *just saying* :)